Two Months

Two months ago my world as I've known it for the last 10.5 years came to a screeching halt and fell apart. It's already been two months since you died and I...well, I'm still in disbelief. And these last few days I hurt again like the reality is fresh.

I went to the Garth Brooks concert last weekend and I learned/realized two things; 1) I'm a bigger Garth fan than I thought I was and even more so after the show and 2) he sings a lot about losing love. Admission: I cried during the concert with 20,000+ other people surrounding me. Songs like:
"If Tomorrow Never Comes", "Rodeo", "The River", "Unanswered Prayers", "The Dance"\ Throw in Trisha Yearwood with "How Do I Live"...you could say that their setlist touched me. They all made me think of you and miss you. And cry.

And the crying continued today. More songs on the radio, no matter what channel I switched to, that reminded me of you and us. The number on the calendar (23), Laura's longing for you. It was just one of those days where every time I turned around I was crying. (and here I go again).

I stopped at one of your buddies' house after work because I needed somewhere to go without analyzing eyes before I picked up the girls from daycare. We had a good talk about you...missing you, still catching ourselves not realizing you're gone, trying to fill this huge hole that's been left in all our lives. And of course I cried some more but I guess I needed that release. It's amazing what 15 minutes of friendship, hugs and tears can do for an attitude. The girls and I had a good night. And as we were getting ready for bed, another of your buddies called to check in. They're taking care of us, you know...your/our network of friends is undeniably one of the anchors in my life right now. I don't know where I would be without them.

But that doesn't stop us from wishing we could turn back time and have you here with us again. Laura and I have been talking about needing you and a big ol' Daddy hug. God how I miss those hugs. I tell her that I love her and you love her and that you'll hug her in her dreams....so please, come give us a big ol' Daddy hug in our dreams tonight. Our broken hearts sure could use it.